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ever known

from under water tea party by en?

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lyrics

Surrounding me is everything the trees are in my path but they're not in my way
as I'm wandering I'm finding peace within myself and within my own dreams
Running I'm running
Away from everything I know
Running I'm running
Into everything that grows
The leaves begin to block out all the light
I'm forced to find my way and fight
Darker
Darker

Help me help me what have I run into
Help help help what have I put myself through
Too far too deep let me go
I don't need to see don't let me know
I can't stand it when I'm at home
But I think this is worse than I've ever known
Than I've ever known
Than I've ever known

Coming up ahead I see a bit of red
The sun is setting down the sky
A clearing in my mind and in my path I find the edge do I just jump and die?
Running I'm running
Away from all the dark inside
Running I'm running
There's no choice I'll have to fly
The tip of my nose leans over the cliff
The tip of toes begin to lift
Farther
Farther

Help me help me what did I run off of
Help help help I'm falling from above
Too far too steep please catch me now
I don't want to see how this turns out
For some reason I feel best alone
But I think this is better than I've ever known
Than I've ever known
Than I've ever known

Doing oddly better than I should
This situation was misunderstood
Open my eyes up to the sky
Even in my dreams I can feel alive

credits

from under water tea party, released February 6, 2016
monica rivas for her comment on my video which was the inspiration for the lyrics:

I had a dream, I was walking barefoot in the forest but it felt like I belonged there. Every moment felt like it was in slow motion, but in a calming way. I was just enjoying life, which is a rarity for me, so I began to walk faster and faster until I was running in the forest and I felt unstoppable and free, it felt so wonderful knowing I didn't have to worry about "real" problems, depression, gone, anxiety, gone, I was in a high. I ended up going too deep into the forest and everything grew darker and I was really scared but when I turned around I was surrounded by the new darkness and I had to push through. I forget everything that happened but I ended in front of a cliff and the only way to leave the darkness was to jump and I did and when I fell I got the same feeling from the relaxed forest and I woke up.

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en? North Carolina

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old music archive, but maybe new music one day

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